Have I Suffered At All For Christ?

Philippians 1:29
English Standard Version (ESV)
29 For it has been granted to you that for the sake of Christ you should not only believe in him but also suffer for his sake,

Sometimes we read a verse and it takes on a whole new meaning depending upon what we are experiencing in our own life. This verse has meant a lot to me over the years and I've read it many times while reading Philippians, but most recently, I used my purple pen and really outlined the already highlighted verse. I know that in the scheme of things I haven't suffered at all compared to the majority of people on this earth. There are people martyred for their faith in Jesus across the globe regularly, maybe even daily. I have not suffered that type of persecution or suffering. I haven't been beaten, stoned, starved, shipwrecked, tortured, severely persecuted, imprisoned.... BUT, in my own life I have suffered as He has willed for me in my life. I have suffered through anxiety, depression, divorce, financial woes, death of family members, chronic illness and disability.... I take joy in knowing that the small amount of suffering is so worth the weight of glory on the other side.

Romans 8:18
English Standard Version (ESV)
18 For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.

There is a huge part of me that thinks, "I am honored to be able to partake even in the smallest amount of suffering so I can identify even in a tiny minuscule way with my Savior, for His sake, not my own".

I read something in a book today that made me realize just how selfish I really am. Even in regard to my "suffering" through MS, I'm anticipating a reward in heaven. Even that is so incredibly selfish! I can't wait for this flesh to be just completely removed and to be able to see without these "sin stained eyes", that He is my Great Prize. Not the crowns, jewels, mansions.....JESUS HIMSELF IS MY GREAT & GLORIOUS PRIZE! The wonderful thing about this reality is that I already have access to Him now!

Until the time I am called home and I am face to face with Him, I will need to pray regularly what John the Baptist said in John 3:30 and it reads in the English Standard Version (ESV) 30 He must increase, but I must decrease.”[a].

Lord help me rid myself of me, I want to be focused on You and others today, in Jesus' name. Amen.