1 Corinthians 15:17-19
New Living Translation (NLT)
17 And if Christ has not been raised, then your faith is useless and you are still guilty of your sins. 18 In that case, all who have died believing in Christ are lost! 19 And if our hope in Christ is only for this life, we are more to be pitied than anyone in the world.
I have pondered the above verses over the past few days. I have come to the conclusion that if Jesus didn't really rise from the dead, then my life here would be in vain. If this was all there was to life and there was no future for me in heaven, I would be HORRIFIED. If I had to endure this life with all it's chaos, death, heartaches, trials & chronic disease, which for me includes this dreadful disease, Multiple Sclerosis, I would be a very DEPRESSED & HOPELESS person! The fact that He has risen and is alive, gives me the strength to carry on and the grace to not just survive, but to thrive. I can live my life to the fullest in the midst of my trials and heartaches because I have hope. He is ALIVE!!! The celebration of the empty tomb is EVERYTHING to me. The stakes are high. I have bet my entire life and eternal destiny on the reality of the resurrection. For me personally, it means that this decrepit diseased body of mine is just temporary. I will one day have a new glorified body and I will live eternally with God!
What or who have you placed your trust in? If you are going to put all your eggs in one basket, you need to make sure you choose the right basket...
John 3:16
New King James Version (NKJV)
16 For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.
2 Corinthians 4:16-18
New King James Version (NKJV)
16 Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day. 17 For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, 18 while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal.
Saturday, March 30, 2013
Friday, March 8, 2013
What is quality of life anyway?
From head to toe literally, my body hurts from the top of my dizzy head to the bottom of my numb feet. The degree of my discomfort waxes and wanes from day to day and from moment to moment. Fatigue seems to make things worse by far. I never feel "normal" anymore. It can be a lot to deal with, I won't lie. I often dream about feeling sick. It seems to be woven into the depths of my existence. Dizziness and weird "vestibular" sensations on top of ALL of my other MS symptoms rob me of ever feeling even halfway "normal." I often think to myself, if I had a clear head and wasn't dizzy and I was "just" unable to walk, I think that I would have a more active life, even if it was spent mostly in a wheelchair. There is no "work around" for dizziness and vertigo. Even when my legs fail me, a wheelchair doesn't help the "dizzy-thing". In fact, depending on who is pushing me, it can make me a lot dizzier. I am stuck in this body and I'm not sure if my life is one of denial or one of contentment. Maybe a combination of both. This disease called Multiple Sclerosis can be like a prison term with a life sentence. I don't like it or enjoy it, but I have a choice to make daily as to how I will live with it. Drawing near to the Lord is how I cope and find contentment in my situation. I choose to continue to be thankful in the midst of my discomfort.
MS can be truly deceiving. It can morph moment by moment. No two days are alike. As I wake up to pain & discomfort, I have two options. I can try and pray myself back to sleep or I can get up, make a pot of coffee, sit upright on the couch and try to get some relief from my spinning head and my deep nerve pain. It's this time alone with God that realigns my thought process with reality, which is a future in heaven with God and NO disease. Until that time, He has a purpose for me...my existence has value and worth to Him even when I can't see or feel it myself. My faith carries me.
My MS has changed my life greatly over the last few years. I have become unable to do many of the chores around the house that I was able to do at one time. Many of these chores have now become part of my husband's repertoire. I am unable to do things such as vacuuming and mopping the floor. Too much movement causes drastic symptoms that may put me on the sideline of life even more so than I am already. This deceiver of a disease may allow me to feel some relief from my dizziness from time to time during the day if I am able to keep my head still. This often gives me a false sense of wellness. The other day I took advantage of this break and actually grabbed my cane and went outside for a very short walk. I walked up our street and back. I have been trying to recuperate from that "short" walk for 2-3 days now.
When I was newly diagnosed back in 2002, I clearly remember thinking to myself, that as long as I am still able to praise God, I will learn to live with this diagnosis. The same still holds true. Although I am extremely limited, more so than I care to admit to, I am still able to praise God through my trials and be thankful. Quite often, everything may sound dandy as I write, my pain is often camouflaged in my words. It is not intentional. God does give me ALL that I need to get through my days. The simple pleasures in life such as a clean floor that was mopped by my husband, a call or visit from a friend, a good book I am able to read (and I'm still able to see), my kids texting or calling me or my husband making a run to McDonalds for a "Shamrock Shake" are all blessings that are reminders to me that God's grace is and always will be sufficient for me. Just when I think I don't have the stamina to get through even one more dizzy day, I do. What is quality of life anyway? I believe that it is what the Apostle Paul described when he spoke of contentment in the book of Philippians....
Philippians 4:11
New King James Version (NKJV)
11 Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content.
MS can be truly deceiving. It can morph moment by moment. No two days are alike. As I wake up to pain & discomfort, I have two options. I can try and pray myself back to sleep or I can get up, make a pot of coffee, sit upright on the couch and try to get some relief from my spinning head and my deep nerve pain. It's this time alone with God that realigns my thought process with reality, which is a future in heaven with God and NO disease. Until that time, He has a purpose for me...my existence has value and worth to Him even when I can't see or feel it myself. My faith carries me.
My MS has changed my life greatly over the last few years. I have become unable to do many of the chores around the house that I was able to do at one time. Many of these chores have now become part of my husband's repertoire. I am unable to do things such as vacuuming and mopping the floor. Too much movement causes drastic symptoms that may put me on the sideline of life even more so than I am already. This deceiver of a disease may allow me to feel some relief from my dizziness from time to time during the day if I am able to keep my head still. This often gives me a false sense of wellness. The other day I took advantage of this break and actually grabbed my cane and went outside for a very short walk. I walked up our street and back. I have been trying to recuperate from that "short" walk for 2-3 days now.
When I was newly diagnosed back in 2002, I clearly remember thinking to myself, that as long as I am still able to praise God, I will learn to live with this diagnosis. The same still holds true. Although I am extremely limited, more so than I care to admit to, I am still able to praise God through my trials and be thankful. Quite often, everything may sound dandy as I write, my pain is often camouflaged in my words. It is not intentional. God does give me ALL that I need to get through my days. The simple pleasures in life such as a clean floor that was mopped by my husband, a call or visit from a friend, a good book I am able to read (and I'm still able to see), my kids texting or calling me or my husband making a run to McDonalds for a "Shamrock Shake" are all blessings that are reminders to me that God's grace is and always will be sufficient for me. Just when I think I don't have the stamina to get through even one more dizzy day, I do. What is quality of life anyway? I believe that it is what the Apostle Paul described when he spoke of contentment in the book of Philippians....
Philippians 4:11
New King James Version (NKJV)
11 Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content.
Friday, March 1, 2013
He is mine forever!!!
Psalm 73:26
New Living Translation (NLT)
26 My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak,
but God remains the strength of my heart;
he is mine forever.
I am used to being "unwell". I am so used to it in fact, that the enemy has to look for other sources to try and trip me up. These tactics may work for a season, but the One I turn to for help is God Almighty Himself. He is my Savior. He delivers me from all of my foes. I am never left alone or forsaken. I am loved in a way that no other human is capable of loving me. I am secure in my salvation. I am not my own. I'm a slave and I rest in that. I don't want to be set free from my Owner. He holds my life in the palm of His hand. He is my portion forever. He is my shield. He is my Rock. This world is upside down and inside out. Many people don't "get it" or understand. This is not my home. I'm an alien. A pilgrim. I am moving forward daily with the help of God's Holy Spirit. He will get me from earth to my eternal home in heaven. The roads may be twisted, bumpy and full of curves, but He will deliver me across the giant chasm in due time. It's not too wide or deep for God's children. We were chosen from before the foundation of the world. He formed us in our mother's womb and prior to that, He knew us. He came to the earth that He created, to be our Savior and to rescue sinners like me from the pit of hell. He rose from the grave to bring eternal life to those who believe. I'm forever grateful for my place in His family. So, like the Psalm says, my health may fail and my spirit grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart. He is mine forever!!!
New Living Translation (NLT)
26 My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak,
but God remains the strength of my heart;
he is mine forever.
I am used to being "unwell". I am so used to it in fact, that the enemy has to look for other sources to try and trip me up. These tactics may work for a season, but the One I turn to for help is God Almighty Himself. He is my Savior. He delivers me from all of my foes. I am never left alone or forsaken. I am loved in a way that no other human is capable of loving me. I am secure in my salvation. I am not my own. I'm a slave and I rest in that. I don't want to be set free from my Owner. He holds my life in the palm of His hand. He is my portion forever. He is my shield. He is my Rock. This world is upside down and inside out. Many people don't "get it" or understand. This is not my home. I'm an alien. A pilgrim. I am moving forward daily with the help of God's Holy Spirit. He will get me from earth to my eternal home in heaven. The roads may be twisted, bumpy and full of curves, but He will deliver me across the giant chasm in due time. It's not too wide or deep for God's children. We were chosen from before the foundation of the world. He formed us in our mother's womb and prior to that, He knew us. He came to the earth that He created, to be our Savior and to rescue sinners like me from the pit of hell. He rose from the grave to bring eternal life to those who believe. I'm forever grateful for my place in His family. So, like the Psalm says, my health may fail and my spirit grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart. He is mine forever!!!
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