New Parts....New Life

2 Corinthians 5:17
New King James Version (NKJV)
17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.


Over the last few weeks, we have experienced one of those seasons where everything I touch has broken. One of those examples of "when it rains it pours". The refrigerator, coffee maker, microwave, Vitamix blender..... What I have come to realize is that being able to purchase a new part for an appliance and having a handy husband who is capable of installing the new parts is a wonderful thing! It brings new life to our old appliances!

God does something very similar for us. Through repentance (turning away from our sinful ways) & FAITH in Jesus, His sinless life, His death on the cross (as the sacrifice for our sins) and His resurrection, He takes our old sinful selves and makes us new creations through the power of His Holy Spirit. He gives us the gift of eternal life! Just like any other gift that we may be blessed with, we must "receive" it so it becomes ours. We don't just look and admire a gift that someone gives to us, we take it, unwrap it, open it up and we receive it as our own. We must do the same with God's gift to us. When we do receive His gift, the former things pass away and we are made into new creations in Christ! He takes our stoney heart and gives us a new one, along with his Holy Spirit! That is what it means to be "born again". Really, does it get any better than that?? So, although my Multiple Sclerosis is destroying my physical body day by day, my spirit is also being renewed day by day. This is where my comfort and peace come from in the midst of my trials. Where does your comfort and peace come from? If it's not from knowing God in a personal way through a relationship with Jesus, then you really haven't experienced His true peace...


John 3:7
New King James Version (NKJV)
7 Do not marvel that I said to you, ‘You must be born again.’

Romans 6:23
New King James Version (NKJV)
23 For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Ezekiel 36:26
New King James Version (NKJV)
26 I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; I will take the heart of stone out of your flesh and give you a heart of flesh.

2 Corinthians 4:16
New King James Version (NKJV)
16 Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day.

John 14:27
New King James Version (NKJV)
27 Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.

Worldly advice may bring temporary "happiness" but obeying the Lord brings eternal joy & peace...

Psalm 1:1
New King James Version (NKJV)
1 Blessed is the man
Who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly,
Nor stands in the path of sinners,
Nor sits in the seat of the scornful;

Last night I made a huge mistake, one that I normally avoid. During the day and most evenings, I do not watch television and I'm extremely picky and choosy about what I read and watch in the way of books and movies. It really isn't something I made a specific conscious effort to do, but over the years, I have come to realize that the more God-centered materials that I look at and listen to, the more peace and fruit are exhibited in my life. I just don't enjoy absorbing all that the world has to offer and polluting my mind with "things of this world". It affects me negatively, so why bother? Back to my mistake, I was researching some stuff about MS and I "googled" some things about Multiple Sclerosis last night before I went to sleep. Well, I came across a blog that was specifically created for the "caregivers" of folks with MS. I really don't know why I was so incredibly shocked reading the endless comments of how these "caregivers" were denied "happiness" and how many of them felt that they "deserved" to leave because life is short. Many of them felt the need to abandon their spouse in the "pursuit of happiness" for themselves. In my opinion, this is "the way of the world" in a nutshell. It's an example of the so-called unholy trinity, "Me, Myself & I". It's all about how one "feels". There were MANY people actually encouraging unethical and unholy behavior on this website. My mind went wandering all over the place. The world tells us to seek pleasure at any cost. The bible shows us in Luke 9:23-24, Jesus says, “If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow Me. For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will save it". This sounds a bit different than the world's view. We are told to deny ourselves, NOT to do anything and everything in our own power to please ourselves. These are two completely opposite ways of thinking. When two people in a marriage are denying themselves for the sake of Christ and their spouse, marriage is a blessing. If two people in a marriage are more concerned with the benefit of the other, how can it fail? One of the things that bothered me the most about this blog was that it seemed to be void of any godly advise or wisdom. I know MANY godly "caretakers", who sacrifice a lot for themselves and of themselves, in the name of Jesus. Selfless, loving, giving, sacrificial people who show the love of God through the love and care they extend to their unwell spouse. They don't need or desire special accolades because their reward comes from God.

After reading this blog last night, I was plagued with thoughts of these people who were actually plotting ways to escape life with their sick spouse. Some were encouraging others to leave NOW, before they are robbed of their "happiness". I allowed their words to penetrate my heart and it made me feel miserable. Just hours prior to this I had begun to watch a taped memorial service for a beautiful 5 year old girl named Lenya, who was the daughter of a Pastor, who recently died in his arms of an asthma attack shortly before Christmas. While watching this memorial service on-line, I saw faith being exhibited through the life of these parents who are living through one of the greatest tragedies any Mom & Dad could ever go through. They didn't deny their pain, they expressed what a blow this was and is to them and their family. They expressed their deep excruciating pain but also expressed their utter joy in knowing that their daughter is in heaven with Jesus, who she loved and that they will see her again one day. They didn't exhibit phony smiling faces and say all the "right" things to make people believe. They are living out their faith, it is real, it is tangible, and it is working for them and comforting them in the midst of their great sorrow. After listening to most of this memorial service, it left me with a great sense of peace. It was a reminder to not worry about my future because He is with me always. He has promised to never leave or forsake me. I believe Him.

Deuteronomy 31:6
New King James Version (NKJV)
6 Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the Lord your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you.”

Fast forward a couple hours later and my mind is racing with negative thoughts of how my husband is probably desiring to leave me. Please don't get me wrong, I'm sure the thought has maybe even crossed his mind (maybe multiple times). We are tempted every day to do the wrong thing and make poor choices and bad decisions, but it's our actions that can lead us to sin and to stumble. That is why as believers, we cannot let the world dictate our feelings and emotions. I'm a Christian. I believe the bible is the inerrant Word of God. It is absolute truth. It is where I run when my thoughts and my mind are completely missing the mark of being sound. I woke up at 4:00 am and I prayed. I asked the Lord for His help and guidance. He led me to read some pages of one of my older hand written journals. After reading just a few pages, I snapped backed into REALITY. God has moved in my life so personally and specifically that I couldn't even begin to explain the tangible ways that He has revealed Himself to me over the years. My stinkin' thinkin' was done for the time being and I am reminded once again that I have a future and a hope...I just wanted to share.

Jeremiah 29:11
New King James Version (NKJV)
11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.

Colossians 3:2
New King James Version (NKJV)
2 Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth.

When there are no words...

Psalm 18:6
New King James Version (NKJV)
6 In my distress I called upon the Lord,
And cried out to my God;
He heard my voice from His temple,
And my cry came before Him, even to His ears.

I woke up at 2:30 am this morning with a sense of dread as my mind went immediately to thoughts of little people in school... My mind thought of little backpacks, lunch boxes and school supplies. Then my mind continued to drift as I thought about the Christmas presents stuffed in closets, the tears, the anxiety, the stress, the depression, the evil, and all the dreaded realities that had come to fruition for so many parents and family members. I had to get up. I couldn't sleep. My mind was racing. I had to get with God. I had to pour my overwhelming feelings out to Him in the wee hours of the morning. I had to deal with my emotions, my thoughts, my feelings and I had to talk to God. As I slipped out of bed and sat on my couch, I could feel the tears coming again. Then out of nowhere, the front door opened and in walked my daughter. She sat with me and consoled me. We spoke about the different aspects of this heartbreaking tragedy. It is beyond comprehension, it is beyond words. After we spent some time talking about what had happened and had shed some tears together, she went off to go to sleep. I thanked God for allowing my daughter to once again arrive home safely. After experiencing many trials over the years, I have learned Who to turn to in times of great distress. Oh yes, I have had some very special friends and family in my life that have listened to my woes over the years, but there is nothing like crying out to God, the Creator of the Universe. He inclines His ear towards me! He knows my every thought. He knows me better than I know myself. He has delivered me from all my trials and I am standing in the gap and praying along with many others, for these hurting people in Connecticut. God hears our every sigh, our every groan and our every thought. He comforts us in ways that are supernatural at times but more often than not, He uses simple means like my daughter coming home very late (actually early) to spend some time with her sad & overwhelmed Mom. Prayer is a powerful tool that we have. I will never stop lifting up prayers to my God. I will always call upon His name...I hope you will join me in prayer for healing, peace and comfort for these precious families...they are in great need of our love, support and prayers...


2 Corinthians 1:3-4
New King James Version (NKJV)
3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.

Working on putting aside the pride...

Ecclesiastes 5:20
New King James Version (NKJV)
20 For he will not dwell unduly on the days of his life, because God keeps him busy with the joy of his heart.

Multiple Sclerosis means "many scars". It leaves scarring on your brain and spinal cord. Can you think of any body part that isn't controlled by your brain and spinal cord? I can't either. Therefore, the MonSter (MS) can cause symptoms ANYWHERE in one's body. My least favorite symptom is my dizziness and vertigo. It has been a lingering residual nuisance that never quite said goodbye after my last really bad non-stop vertigo-a-thon. But that is only one of the multitude of symptoms. There are ALL the others. Blurry vision, double vision, numbness, pins & needles, sharp stabbing pains...you get the picture. Most mornings upon awakening, I automatically take an assessment of what I'm feeling, even before just sitting up. I can't help it. I'm dizzy the moment my eyes open. A vivid reminder of my reality. In order to motivate myself to get my day started, I bribe myself with a cup of fresh coffee, my favorite spot on the couch (with my arm dent) and my IPad. This time alone is when I connect with God and am reminded of my true reality that is invisible yet very real. I may come out of my bedroom in the morning (my worst time of day) all doom & gloom but after reading the bible, devotions and praying, I am brought back to reality. The truth is that this life here on earth is but a vapor. My eternal life is, well, eternal. Thinking about eternal life with no MS brings me joy of heart. It's enough to sustain me. After this weekend of using the big ol' cart at Sam's to get around, and recently allowing Kenny to push me in my wheelchair so I could enjoy a day at the zoo, I'm realizing that I am allowing some pride to dissipate. Yes, I have been prideful. I'm still a work in progress and this disease gets the best of me at times but I have the Holy Spirit of God Almighty residing inside. Everything is going to be ok....

James 4:14
New King James Version (NKJV)
14 whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away.

Tsunami Dream...

Psalm 54:4
New Living Translation (NLT)
4 But God is my helper.
The Lord keeps me alive!

I wake up sometimes and write about my dreams if they are vivid. I had another incredibly vivid dream just before waking up this morning. I was caught up and swept away from Kenny in a tsunami. It wasn't a horrific wave, it was a forceful rush of water that swept me away. Although I knew I was being swept away from my husband, I didn't feel panicked. I realized that I was actually able to float. I landed on dry land far away. It actually was in the most northern part of Georgia. lol

There were many more details that I could bore you to death with but I won't. When I thought about my dream upon awakening, I realized that God gave me peace through the storm in my dream and He does the same for me in my real life. He is in control no matter how bad the circumstances look around me. I may be over spiritualizing my dream, but it was a reminder to me that no matter how bad things get here on earth, God has my back. He keeps me afloat through rough waters. I realized that life can appear pretty scary at times, but nothing is too hard for God.

Jeremiah 32:27
New Living Translation (NLT)
27 “I am the Lord, the God of all the peoples of the world. Is anything too hard for me?

Endurance...

Hebrews 6:10-12
New Living Translation (NLT)
10 For God is not unjust. He will not forget how hard you have worked for him and how you have shown your love to him by caring for other believers,[a] as you still do. 11 Our great desire is that you will keep on loving others as long as life lasts, in order to make certain that what you hope for will come true. 12 Then you will not become spiritually dull and indifferent. Instead, you will follow the example of those who are going to inherit God’s promises because of their faith and endurance.

Endurance has been on my mind a lot lately. Enduring, persevering and finishing my race well are all priorities in my life. Last night, I dreamt that I was in a speed walking race. I was wearing nice new white sneakers, I had a cool trekking pole with a fluorescent pink spring loaded bottom part. I was walking so fast in my dream and I was so excited to be part of this athletic event. Even though I wasn't running, I was walking at such a fast pace. It felt so good. I finished the "race" but realized that I came in last place. I was so happy to have finished the race that I still felt like a winner. When I woke up, I realized that as long as I am on God's "team", I am a winner no matter what place I come in. I know my fate. As I type, I realized that my daughter Amanda said to me yesterday, "slow and steady wins the race". We chuckled because I can be pretty slow and I'm not too steady. I woke up today feeling physically exhausted as if I actually did speed walk in a race, yet my spirit is filled with joy as I ponder my future with Jesus. As long as I have breath, I will praise and love my God and His people. God can use us no matter what our circumstances are. We may not see the fruit in this lifetime, but we will certainly see it when we reach our final destination and cross the "finish line" of this life. I long to hear those glorious words from my Savior's mouth, "well done, good and faithful servant". Yes, that will be a glorious day. My prize is Jesus.

Philippians 3:14
New Living Translation (NLT)
14 I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.