Coincidence or God's Plan?

At my previous job, prior to my MS diagnosis, I would pre qualify people medically on the telephone for Long Term Care insurance. We had a script to follow which included just the right amount of pertinent medical questions to help us determine whether or not someone was insurable for this type of insurance. The first question we would ask cut to the chase immediately and it read, " being that I CAN'T see you, do you use a wheelchair, walker or a cane??? I don't know how many times over the course of many years at that particular job I asked that question on the phone but God in His amazing ways has been asking me lately a similar question. He has a sense of humor at times and speaks so clearly to me if I could just quiet myself long enough to listen to Him. Even my thoughts are too wordy. The question through this relapse that has been gnawing at me lately has been, "being that I CAN see you, ALL the time, today will it be a wheelchair, walker or a cane?" This most recent adventure has put me in an awkward state of living in the"unknown". Within days starting last week, I went from having a small patch of skin on my lower right hip area that just hurt & ached and I was unable to touch it without pain. It morphed in a very short period of time to unbearable pain throughout my lower entire bikini area. The skin felt like I was dipped and burned in hot oil. I couldn't touch my own body or allow the shower water to touch the area without severe pain. I wore my husband's baggy boxers for days. The pain continued to morph and stabbing sharp pains were added to the painful symptoms. It felt like I had someone stabbing my back, ovaries, bladder, hips....the next morph was a numb right thigh that was added to the strange mix and over the course of a few days I was numb from my right hip down to my toes with a loss of my ability to lift my own leg, balance or walk. Google said I had "Transverse Myelitis" and that the next step in my disease process was becoming paralyzed. Yes, I did freak out. It was getting worse by the minute, literally. I put the call in to my doctor. My wonderful husband drove me there, we arranged the spinal MRI, I had the MRI and then we waited for the call. The doctor normally doesn't make me come in for the results. He quite often will just call me. The MRI's are actually done downstairs so he gets the results basically instantly. I got the call but he wouldn't talk to me on the phone. He wanted to see me. That's NOT a good thing in my world. Google was correct, as usual. I was having a very active attack on my thoracic spine. It IS "Transverse Myelitis" due to an active lesion and inflammation in my spinal cord in the thoracic area and I need a heavy duty dose of steroids on the sooner side of things. There was the walking down the hall "test" as usual and I could barely walk. More talk about trying another MS drug and I was off to go home and begin to get this disease process to slow down before the paralysis kicked in. The setting up of the home health nurse seemed to take forever and by the time she came out, her first day with me was UNsuccessful. She was unable to get my IV started because I have the worse veins EVER! This is the part where I needed to remember God's sovereignty. He knows. He knows everything. I needed to spend time with Him and have Him reel me back in. I was trying to control my body, my health, my treatment....HE IS IN CONTROL. I meditated on this fact. It soothed me. I drank tons of water the next morning and the second nurse thanked God that she got my vein the first try. The gold cross on this nurse's neck comforted me. I was brought back to reality. Heaven. This life is but a vapor. I hugged this nurse, we exchanged kind words and she left. The first unsuccessful nurse returned to administer the drip. The juice was finally flowing. Please Lord, slow this crazy disease down. I don't want to feel paralysis....its now been over a week. I am showing signs of improvement. Only God knows the outcome and I'm good with that. I had Elders pray and anoint me with oil again and I rest in His plan. He comforts me and gives me peace in the turmoil. He promised me He would. He is not a liar. I am gaining control of my leg to a certain degree, my pain for the most part has been relieved. I have a lot of "stuff" still but I'm so grateful for it all. The good, the bad and the ugly. He works it out for my best because I love Him. He promised He would do that too. (Romans 8:28). Although the question of the day is still " wheelchair, walker or cane?", it's all good. Once again, He is in control and I can rest in His plan for me.