A Day in the ER

Today was a weird day. I knew Amanda, my 20 year old daughter had been under the weather all day yesterday. In the morning she sat down with me, as she often does, and told me about a weird dream she had. There was a bear in her dream and it scared her to the point of it waking her up with a pounding heart. But she had sharp pain in the center of her chest as well. She fell back asleep but in the morning upon awakening, she continued to have chest pain, shortness of breath, upper back pain, shooting pains into her head....at first I thought it was just a weird physiological reaction to her dream but as the day went on she was not herself. She slept all day. Completely fatigued and unable to stay awake. By dinner time, she was just getting up. As I cleaned up some dishes, I told Kenny that I had a feeling of impending doom. I just felt like crying. In my heart I sensed that something was wrong with my child and that feeling is horrible. Amanda has had a few health problems that many of you may remember after a "tonsillectomy gone bad" incident a couple of years ago. She continued to get severe throat infections, swollen lymph nodes and very high fevers continually. She almost didn't graduate high school and then needed to take a medical leave from college due to her chronic illness. Kenny and I took her to the Mayo Clinic in Jacksonville and came home with no real answers. She had some short seasons of better health but that never lasted long. This incident was random and different. When I woke up this morning my heart was heavy and I felt burdened about her health, or lack thereof.

Amanda left and went to work this morning, but not too long after she got there, my phone rang and it was her. They were getting a replacement for her at work so she could leave. She called and made a doctors appointment and she swung by to pick me up so I could go with her. The doctor was very thorough and listened to her as she explained the weird sensations that were difficult to put into words. I was blown away as I listened to this weird physical experience. After doing an EKG, and examining her, he recommended going over to the hospital. Reminding us that there are young people who have heart attacks too. So off we went.

As we were walking into the ER, she turned to me and said, "we're probably the only two people walking into the ER smiling!". I was so grateful at this moment. It turned out to be very true. The place was crowded to the point of there not being enough rooms or beds for all the sick people. The faces of the patients were sad, many contorted with pain, fear, loneliness... One patient expired while we were there and they warned us about what was about to take place, as far as the removal of the body. We saw so many hurting people. The EMT's just kept them coming. As I sat there watching a middle aged woman on a gurney gasping for breath, I was confused as to how God keeps it all in order when it seems like total chaos. He is aware of EVERYTHING. Nothing goes unnoticed by Him. He was there when that man took his last breath, He was there as that woman was gasping for breath, He was there as a man tried to exit his room naked, He was there with us too. I prayed to feel His presence today and I did.

When we first arrived we were greeted by a young man that looked very familiar to me. I whispered to Amanda that I knew him but couldn't remember how. As we spoke to him we realized we knew him through our church. He is a friend of a good friend of ours. He was our first touch from God...Later when the cardiologist came in to visit, he asked about any past health history. Amanda and I looked at each other like how can we do the short story of the "tonsillectomy gone bad". Come to find out that this doctor had a botched tonsillectomy by the same exact doctor when he was a kid! Both he and Amanda had regrown their tonsils after their surgeries. The cardiologist told us about how he had to have a second tonsillectomy, by a different doctor of course. We just laughed and laughed. As the day went on, I could feel The Lord's presence and knew that He was with us. I was determined to look at the storm in front of me and not take my eyes off Jesus. I made a conscious decision to think about the Lord and talk to Him as we went along in our day. We made the best of the situation and enjoyed each other's company and ate saltines together when we were starving. Saltines never tasted so good to us. I felt like we were truly living in the moment. Finding the diamond in the rough.

I have exchanged texts with her tonight as I am home now and she's still there in the hospital. My heart hurts when she's away like this. She's 20 years old but she's still my baby. I am praying for all this stuff to be removed, but if the Lord has a different plan, I pray for comfort, peace and joy in the midst of it all. He has done that already. Praise be to our great and awesome God!!!