God looks at the heart...

1 Samuel 16:7
New King James Version (NKJV)
7 But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or at his physical stature, because I have refused him. For the Lord does not see as man sees;[a] for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”

The Lord taught me another lesson over the last 24 hours. My sister sent me the school pictures of my two beautiful nieces, they arrived in the mail yesterday. This morning I texted her to thank her for the beautiful pictures and to sincerely let her know how her girls have developed into such beautiful young ladies. She texted me back and said that Meg, my older niece, half-jokingly, wanted to know if I could see her "zit". I texted back jokingly that I would go and get my magnifying glass out to see if I could find it. I honestly never noticed her pimple, but what I did notice is how times haven't changed. It brought me back to my younger years...

Last night, Kenny and I went with a few others to visit a sister in the Lord, who has been hospitalized for weeks now with what the doctors believe to be cancer. She is currently waiting on biopsy results. This sister has been a fixture in the sanctuary of our church for more years than I can remember. As she spoke from her hospital bed last night, I felt God telling me to listen closely. I was there for a reason and a specific purpose. Although I thought I was going there to help comfort her, along with the others, this morning I realized why I was there last night. As we listened to her speak, she spoke of a harsh life, one that has been plagued with illness which has ravished her body in a multitude of ways over the years. She spoke of homelessness in a way I never expected to hear, and most of all, she blew me away as she spoke of her great faith in God. She could see Him moving in her situation which appeared to be so bleak to us, the visitors in the room. She had already experienced a miraculous healing from God in the past and there seemed to be no fear in her eyes or her voice. She knew that God could heal her again and she also knew that He may choose not to heal her this time. She explained to us how she has "surrendered her body to the Lord". She also spoke of a man who has befriended her recently and she expressed concern for His "spiritual well-being" because he is an atheist. This man has helped her care for her vehicle and in turn I could see how she has cared for his eternal destiny. I know that God is using this woman in more ways than any of us can see or understand.

As I was writing in my journal this morning, I realized that yet another nasty onion skin was being peeled back from my life. The sin of judging others based on their appearance and being equally as harsh on myself over the years. My self degradation is so ugly and sinful. Over the years, God has shown me who I am in Him, but this process won't be complete until I go home to be with Him.

The years I spent as a young woman, gazing in the mirror and agonizing over bad acne, bad hair, bitten fingernails....I couldn't see any value in myself at all. If I were to be completely honest, there are times I feel the same way now when I look in the mirror, especially when I'm feeling my worst physically. The lesson I have once again revisited, is that the outward appearance isn't even a clue as to what God sees in us. I'm so grateful that what He sees is the perfection and righteousness of Christ in me, the hope of glory. I have been made into a new creation and no matter what looks back at me in the mirror, God sees Jesus in me. I can rest in the finished work of my Savior. It's not about me, it's about Him and Him alone...

Colossians 1:27
New King James Version (NKJV)
27 To them God willed to make known what are the riches of the glory of this mystery among the Gentiles: which[a] is Christ in you, the hope of glory.

2 Corinthians 5:17
New King James Version (NKJV)
17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.

Ever feel "blah"?

Taken from Streams in the Desert:

"My plan is simply to shun the spirit of sadness as I would normally shun Satan, but unfortunately I am not always successful. Like the Devil himself, sadness confronts me while I am on the highway of usefulness. And it stays face to face with me until my poor soul turns blue and sad! In fact, sadness discolors everything around me and produces a mental paralysis. Nothing has any appeal to me, future prospects seem clouded in darkness, and my soul loses all its aspirations and power!"

This paragraph smacked me across the face as I read it this morning. It is from my favorite devotional book "Streams in the Desert", that was given to me by a precious friend last year. I have been unable to write or blog lately. I've had the feeling of "mental paralysis" described above. The combination of my poor physical health, the everyday troubles & annoyances of daily life plus the death of my dog Petey, had put me in a place of sadness. Although I felt God's presence and peace through this season, I have to admit that I've had that "uninterested" in life feeling. I'm just being honest. I have been "existing" and not "living". This is where the enemy wants me to stay but I REFUSE to stay here. I am drawing near to God and seeking Him and in turn, He is drawing near to me. The sadness is slowly being lifted as it is being replaced by glimmers of joy. I am moving forward with the help of the Holy Spirit, Who has secured and sealed my destiny. I returned to the Word of God and was once again reminded of His great and glorious promises. Not all of these promises are meant for me in this lifetime. Some of these promises will be delayed. I will need to "delay my gratification until my glorification". I just made that up and I like it. Romans 8:28 says,

28 And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.

The "good" may not necessarily be seen in this lifetime. It's obvious that a lot of us will suffer greatly here on earth and we won't have the ultimate "good" until we are in heaven, but that day WILL come. I'm urging anyone who hears His voice to yield and surrender to Jesus today. We all have an eternal destiny, but we need the Savior Jesus Christ to get to heaven. Jesus Himself said in John 14:6, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me. My days of feeling "blah" will come to an end permanently one day. Until that time, God will supply all my needs and provide me with the strength to carry on....

Philippians 4:13
New King James Version (NKJV)
13 I can do all things through Christ[a] who strengthens me.

Petey

Proverbs 27:1
New King James Version (NKJV)
27 Do not boast about tomorrow,
For you do not know what a day may bring forth.

Anyone who knows me, knows how much I love my dogs. This week has been an emotional one for me due to the unexpected loss of my 9 year old Boston Terrier, Petey. Although I am able to keep things in perspective, and I know that I am blessed that it was my dog and not a family member or friend, I still can't seem to just shut my feelings of sadness off. These pets we care for are God's creation and are here on earth for our mutual enjoyment. They are like family to me. Through the years, my dogs have been companions and have shown nothing but unconditional love to me and my family. They have comforted me through much sickness and sadness. They have napped with me and they have greeted me with excitement, love and kisses every time I have come home, even if it was just a trip to the mailbox and back.

We got Petey as an 8 week old puppy. He grew up with our three children. He has been a fixture in this family for the last nine years. That is about half the lifetime of our youngest kid! When we look at family photos from the past, there's Petey! I always thought that if I were to end up in a wheelchair due to my MS, Petey would be the dog on my lap in my chair. I gave him rides around the house in my scooter while testing it out during my last MS relapse.

Enjoy your many blessings today while you still have them. I'm grateful for the love that my "little guy" showed to us even in the midst of his suffering with cancer. Although I haven't felt much like writing, I wanted to remind all of us, to not take our loved ones, including our pets, for granted....we never know what tomorrow may bring.