Gram

I have a smile on my face just thinking about my Gram today. She passed away three years ago. Today is her birthday and she would have been 98 years old. She was the source of "unconditional" love and it had a tremendous effect on my life. My Gram holds such a special place in my heart and that will never change. No one could ever have replaced her. She was the BEST Gram anyone could have. In my eyes she was the perfect Grandma. She was the kind of woman that everyone loved being around. She had the gift of making everyone she came in contact with feel as if they were the most important and special person she had ever met. I like to think that I was her favorite, but I'm sure there were others who felt the same way. Her name was Rose. I gave the name Rose to my daughter Amanda as her middle name. Considering I grew up in a Jewish home, I decided to name Amanda after my Gram even though as a Jew, you aren't supposed to name your children after someone who is still living. I couldn't resist. I had to carry her name on through my daughter. Even though I wasn't a believer in Jesus at that time, I wasn't superstitious.

No one seemed to understand me quite like my Gram. We had a very special bond. She poured out her love in so many meaningful ways. When I was a little girl, she would sing a song that she had made up, it went like this: "Mi-chele is a good little girl, Grand-ma loves her ve-ry much, Mi-chele is a gooooooood little girllllllll and Grand-ma loves her VE-RY MUCH!!!! I wish you could hear the tune. I felt so loved and special as she would sing this song to me while tucking me in during sleepovers at her house. Yes, she did substitute my sister's name and I'm sure my two male cousin's names into the same song, but I'm sure I was her favorite. ;)

In the morning, Gram would make breakfast for me and my sister. No "pouring your own bowl of cereal" at Gram's house. We had a choice and she enjoyed serving us. We could have Wheatena, scrambled eggs with cheese, cantaloupe with cottage cheese or my favorite, pancakes made with Bisquick. I could literally taste the love in the mixed ingredients.

In the afternoon, Gram would take me and my sister for a ride to Worden's World of Arts and Crafts or Pearl. We would look for craft supplies and then go back to her house and make things. One of my fondest memories was making an orange notepad holder in the shape of a cat. It was made from poster board and orange felt. Gram also taught me how to crochet, which I still do at times, especially while I'm stuck on the couch. It reminds me of her. It brings me joy.

Gram LOVED music. She would always be humming, singing or playing music for my sister and me. We loved the sights, sounds, smells and the love we felt being around her. Her house was a refuge filled with love and singing. We were so incredibly loved!

At night, my sister and I would snuggle up between my Gram and Gramp in their comfy bed and yummy soft sheets that never matched but smelled good. She had a "wedge" pillow that helped us to sit upright in bed so we could watch episodes of Jackie Gleason with them. I loved hearing my Gram & Gramp laugh while watching the tv show.

Gram never forgot the "cute" things that we would say as kids. Still to this day, my sister and I will say some of Gram's all time favorite lines such as, "we're sisters you know" or "a promise is a promise and you always keep it!". She also saved literally every note, card, poem or trinket we ever made and presented to her. She cherished and treasured everything about us.

During the last couple years of her life, as she was nearing the end, I would tell her about Jesus. She prayed with me within the two weeks of her passing. She also told me a few days before she passed away that her Dad, my Great Grandfather, who we affectionately called Papa, had told her about this "Jesus". The day she passed away, I sat on her bed and spoke to her all the things on my heart. We had some very precious time together that I will never forget. Although I wasn't sure if she could still hear me, I held her hand and spoke to her. I told her everything that I felt I needed to say to her. I played "Awesome God" by Michael W. Smith for her on my i -phone and I could feel a squeeze from her hand in response to the song. After I had said everything I wanted to say and I felt satisfied that she heard everything, I once again reminded her how much I loved her. I kissed her face and I said, "I'll see you later Gram!" and then proceeded to walk out of the room. The hospice nurse had stepped outside into the hallway. I said goodbye to her as well. On my way driving home, my cell phone rang. It was my sister calling to tell me that Gram had passed away. I said, "but I just left her....".

Upon returning to her deathbed. The hospice nurse turned to me and said, "God is with you, I heard you talking to your Grandmother and playing music for her, as soon as you said goodbye to her and left, I came back into the room and your Grandma took her last breath. There was no struggling, just a last breath and then there was peace." I cling to God's faithfulness. I long to see my precious Gram again....

Philippians 1:3
New King James Version (NKJV)

3 I thank my God upon every remembrance of you,