Psalm 1:1
New King James Version (NKJV)
1 Blessed is the man
Who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly,
Nor stands in the path of sinners,
Nor sits in the seat of the scornful;
Last night I made a huge mistake, one that I normally avoid. During the day and most evenings, I do not watch television and I'm extremely picky and choosy about what I read and watch in the way of books and movies. It really isn't something I made a specific conscious effort to do, but over the years, I have come to realize that the more God-centered materials that I look at and listen to, the more peace and fruit are exhibited in my life. I just don't enjoy absorbing all that the world has to offer and polluting my mind with "things of this world". It affects me negatively, so why bother? Back to my mistake, I was researching some stuff about MS and I "googled" some things about Multiple Sclerosis last night before I went to sleep. Well, I came across a blog that was specifically created for the "caregivers" of folks with MS. I really don't know why I was so incredibly shocked reading the endless comments of how these "caregivers" were denied "happiness" and how many of them felt that they "deserved" to leave because life is short. Many of them felt the need to abandon their spouse in the "pursuit of happiness" for themselves. In my opinion, this is "the way of the world" in a nutshell. It's an example of the so-called unholy trinity, "Me, Myself & I". It's all about how one "feels". There were MANY people actually encouraging unethical and unholy behavior on this website. My mind went wandering all over the place. The world tells us to seek pleasure at any cost. The bible shows us in Luke 9:23-24, Jesus says, “If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow Me. For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will save it". This sounds a bit different than the world's view. We are told to deny ourselves, NOT to do anything and everything in our own power to please ourselves. These are two completely opposite ways of thinking. When two people in a marriage are denying themselves for the sake of Christ and their spouse, marriage is a blessing. If two people in a marriage are more concerned with the benefit of the other, how can it fail? One of the things that bothered me the most about this blog was that it seemed to be void of any godly advise or wisdom. I know MANY godly "caretakers", who sacrifice a lot for themselves and of themselves, in the name of Jesus. Selfless, loving, giving, sacrificial people who show the love of God through the love and care they extend to their unwell spouse. They don't need or desire special accolades because their reward comes from God.
After reading this blog last night, I was plagued with thoughts of these people who were actually plotting ways to escape life with their sick spouse. Some were encouraging others to leave NOW, before they are robbed of their "happiness". I allowed their words to penetrate my heart and it made me feel miserable. Just hours prior to this I had begun to watch a taped memorial service for a beautiful 5 year old girl named Lenya, who was the daughter of a Pastor, who recently died in his arms of an asthma attack shortly before Christmas. While watching this memorial service on-line, I saw faith being exhibited through the life of these parents who are living through one of the greatest tragedies any Mom & Dad could ever go through. They didn't deny their pain, they expressed what a blow this was and is to them and their family. They expressed their deep excruciating pain but also expressed their utter joy in knowing that their daughter is in heaven with Jesus, who she loved and that they will see her again one day. They didn't exhibit phony smiling faces and say all the "right" things to make people believe. They are living out their faith, it is real, it is tangible, and it is working for them and comforting them in the midst of their great sorrow. After listening to most of this memorial service, it left me with a great sense of peace. It was a reminder to not worry about my future because He is with me always. He has promised to never leave or forsake me. I believe Him.
Deuteronomy 31:6
New King James Version (NKJV)
6 Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the Lord your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you.”
Fast forward a couple hours later and my mind is racing with negative thoughts of how my husband is probably desiring to leave me. Please don't get me wrong, I'm sure the thought has maybe even crossed his mind (maybe multiple times). We are tempted every day to do the wrong thing and make poor choices and bad decisions, but it's our actions that can lead us to sin and to stumble. That is why as believers, we cannot let the world dictate our feelings and emotions. I'm a Christian. I believe the bible is the inerrant Word of God. It is absolute truth. It is where I run when my thoughts and my mind are completely missing the mark of being sound. I woke up at 4:00 am and I prayed. I asked the Lord for His help and guidance. He led me to read some pages of one of my older hand written journals. After reading just a few pages, I snapped backed into REALITY. God has moved in my life so personally and specifically that I couldn't even begin to explain the tangible ways that He has revealed Himself to me over the years. My stinkin' thinkin' was done for the time being and I am reminded once again that I have a future and a hope...I just wanted to share.
Jeremiah 29:11
New King James Version (NKJV)
11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.
Colossians 3:2
New King James Version (NKJV)
2 Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth.
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