Dysautonomia added to the list...

Psalm 46:1

New King James Version (NKJV)

46 God is our refuge and strength,

A very present help in trouble.

My life has once again been changed, A LOT. A new word has been added to my vocabulary, Dysautonomia. In particular, POTS, which stands for postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome. It's when one has dysfunction of the autonomic nervous system which messes with one's ability to maintain a normal blood pressure and heart rate upon standing. In between these episodes, which are a regular part of my day, I have heart palpitations, mild chest discomfort, jittery & shakiness, shortness of breath and just an overall unwell yucky feeling. I have seen my General Practitioner, my MS Neurologist and a Cardiac Electro Physiologist. They all seem to concur that this is my diagnosis. Whether or not it's a stand alone disorder or if it's actually caused by my MS seems to be a bit of a mystery, but regardless, it is treated the same. I'm currently taking some medications to help alleviate the debilitating symptoms. I've started taking a new beta blocker called Metoprolol and also a drug called Midodrine that helps stabilize my blood pressure. It has been a fine balancing act of trying to take these medications in a way that helps relieve some of the relentless 24/7 symptoms that I experience. When the meds start to wear off, I'm at square one. It has been like climbing a mountain daily. This is all on top of my MS symptoms. Only God could get me through my days. The reality of my daily sufferings and continuing to be a wife and mom can be very overwhelming. My abilities are decreasing once again which tends to be par for the course with Multiple Sclerosis. In an effort to draw closer to The Lord, I have been taking a fast from social media. It has been very freeing in that my OCD-like obsession to scroll through the entire newsfeed has been broken. This has freed up my day for more bible reading, book reading, devotion reading, listening to teachings and journaling my prayers. This I feel is more of what I would like to accomplish with my time. God is my refuge and my strength. He is my very present help in my time of trouble. He is the Living God. No different than the Living God we read about in our bibles. He's the same yesterday, today and forever. If I am feeling distress, I cry out to Him. He hears my cries and knows my pain. He comforts me. He reminds me through His Word that this is all temporary and that He loves me and won't ever forsake me. I don't enjoy living with MS and now Dysautonomia, but I can definitely see His fingerprint on my life as I strive to know Him more daily in my walk (which is now closer to a crawl at this point). Who else is going to understand the depth of my pain? No human could ever fill the need I have to be understood completely. He knows my frame. He knows every hair on my head. Nothing comes my way that He doesn't already know about. I can rest in that. It gives me peace in the midst of my trials, which are many....