New King James Version (NKJV)
13 No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.
Isn't it amazing that when we take our eyes off our fears, doubts, and struggles to focus on someone else's needs, we somehow forget our own? And in believing the power of God's promises for others, our confidence in His promises for us increases. Renee Swope, from Encouragement for Today Devotion
Sometimes my problems, the large ones as well as all the petty ones, begin to add up to a point where I feel completely paralyzed. Not in the literal sense, but figuratively. Kenny and I just returned from a trip to Dayton, Ohio to watch our high school senior Taylor perform in her very last color guard competition for high school. Due to my MS, and more specifically my vestibular issues, we chose not to fly on an airplane. I feel as if the cabin pressure would be too much for me. I'm scared to death of entering a state of chronic vertigo, which I have suffered greatly through for many months at a time in the past. Dizziness is somewhat workable once you have become used to living with it, but vertigo is completely unlivable and unworkable. So we decided to drive the scenic route to Ohio, taking our time as we made it into as much of a vacation as possible. This vacation would be very different though. This time we would be bringing "my chariot" (wheelchair) with all intentions of using it. You see, my legs just won't allow me to walk long distances anymore. Even if I were able to physically walk far, my head gets dizzier the more I walk around. In fact, conserving my legs by using the wheelchair doesn't help my dizziness as I'm being pushed around. This causes great anxiety to well up within me. If I were to allow myself to truly consider what this dreadful disease has done to my body, I would sob uncontrollably and never stop. These are the times that I have to speak God's truths to myself and believe them no matter how miserable I may be feeling. There is the temptation to be angry, bitter and selfish but I don't want to be that way and I know I have some important choices to make both daily and moment by moment as to how I will deal with the circumstances that The Lord, in His sovereignty, has allowed in my life. Some of the choices that I had to make while we were away included succumbing to "looking disabled". It is what it is. I AM disabled in many ways and that is a hard pill to swallow. Although it is nothing to be ashamed of, I'll admit that I felt somewhat embarrassed by being viewed this way by others. I can't lie. It's a major life adjustment that doesn't happen overnight, it's a gradual process.
Although traveling was difficult for me and I didn't feel very well while we were away, I made some choices that I am very glad about. First of all, I chose to go on the trip. It would have been a lot easier to have Kenny fly up to Ohio alone. I would have been more comfortable staying at home, but I chose to accompany my husband and my desire to watch Taylor perform made me unstoppable. I chose to allow Kenny to push me around Savannah, GA in an area that was far from wheelchair accessible (being pushed on ancient cobblestone roads with a dizzy head can be torture), I chose to allow Kenny to take pictures of me in my "chariot" and I came to appreciate it all the more because it allowed me to get around without completely exhausting myself. I rode around Gatlinburg, TN the same way. One of my biggest moments came in Ohio as Kenny and I fell in love with the Air Force Museum. We actually went there 3 days in a row. We went to the information center during our second visit to find out about the bus trips they have where they bring you onto the actual Air Force base to visit a very special display of presidential planes, such as the old retired Air Force Ones. Special arrangements were made for Kenny and I as we would be chaperoned by our own driver of their handicapped vehicle. Instead of waiting in long lines in the cold, we were given our own private ride to the base. This was really stepping out of my comfort zone. Being lifted up on a ramp to be put in this vehicle was surreal, but I wasn't going to allow my pride to prevent me and my husband from seeing these awesome sights.
Between the traveling, the excursions, the pressure in my ears from driving through the mountains, the early rising and the late nights, my body was ready to come home and rest. I was pushing myself to the point of exhaustion, but all in all I am SO glad that I went! I have no regrets. We took the ride home that we were going to do in three days and changed it to a very long and tiring 21 hours of driving straight home in one shot. Lots of prayer, coffee and a 5 hour energy drink for Kenny and we were on our way home. I'm blessed to have a husband who can roll with my whims. I'm blessed to have my God to cry out to when I'm hurting and feeling tempted to feel sorry for myself. I'm also blessed to have a future in store for me where there will be no more wheelchairs, walkers and canes! Praise be to God, the Father of new mercies every single morning, I need them....
By the way, CONGRATULATIONS to West Broward High School for coming in 4th place in Scholastic World at the WGI Championship in Dayton, Ohio. Taylor Valentine, we love you and are so proud of all your hard work and accomplishments!!! <3
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