1 Corinthians 13:4
New King James Version (NKJV)
4 Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up;
Saturday I woke up and wanted to get out of the house. Since I'm not driving, I needed Kenny to drive us to Publix to get food for the week. When we got in the car, he asked where we were going. I said, "I guess to Publix". I think he had something a little more exciting in mind other than going to the grocery store but he yielded to what we "needed" to get done instead of what would have been more enjoyable (like a trip to Jaxson's for lunch and ice cream). When I saw a glimpse of disappointment on his face, it stirred up emotions in me of feeling helpless...
Two years ago I was working, driving, going grocery shopping, serving at church, getting my hair & nails done, and just bopping around living my life. Things are very different now. Kenny could see the wheels spinning in my head by the look on my face. He immediately tried to make peace and reel me back in. He understood my frustration. By nature he is patient and a peacemaker. Sometimes we both need to vent a little. This life with MS can really stink terribly. Yes, my moods waver with what I'm feeling physically, but honestly my faith isn't shaken. I just long for a healed body and I'm like a kid waiting to go to Disney World as I anticipate heaven. It WILL happen one day but until then, we are only required to live one day at a time. Sunday we discussed our feelings from the day before. They were real. We didn't sweep them under the rug so they could jump out at some inopportune time creating unnecessary bitterness or useless bickering. A little insight into my husband's feelings and hearing him say "I love you" took on so much more meaning after listening to what was on his heart. He reassured me that he's in this marriage for the long haul. Its exactly what I needed to hear and be reminded of. That is love...this is longsuffering...
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