Love suffers long and is kind...

1 Corinthians 13:4

New King James Version (NKJV)

4 Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up;

The thoughts I had yesterday about my husband "suffering long" started most recently by another miserable bout of vertigo that started last Tuesday and ended with a broken part on my iPhone this weekend. My husband made an appointment at the Apple store to get it either fixed or replaced. Not a simple task for a gal that saves EVERYTHING on her phone. I have literally thousands of pictures, texts, notes, my journal....all on my phone. It turned out to be an ALL day event for my husband. Getting my old stuff backed up on our computer and getting my new phone in the order in which I like it was a daunting task for my poor husband. He knows how I am and I know how patient he is...

Being the "sick one" from the outside looking in can seem like the worst case scenario in a marriage. I don't agree with that though... I believe that being the spouse of the "sick" loved one is by far even more difficult. It is a very heavy load to bear.  This weekend God laid it on my heart to stop for a moment and think about what it would feel like to be in my husband's shoes. I thought about how helpless I would feel if the tables were turned. The feeling of not being able to remove my spouses pain and suffering. I thought about all of my husband's dashed dreams instead of just mine. I thought about the sacrificial way he devotes all of his time and love to me and our family every single day and NEVER complains. I thought about the way The Lord has given him this cross to bear for reasons that I can't understand. I thought about how selfish I can be by not expressing my gratitude for every kind gesture he exhibits towards me no matter how big or how small. I pray that God will continue to open my eyes as to how "my" illness is "our" cross to bear as a couple. It's not just "my burden". 

The "sick" spouse is quite often blessed with prayer, cards, notes, texts and messages of encouragement on a regular basis. What does the "healthy" spouse (caregiver) receive? 

My husband continues to work full time to provide for our family and every other waking moment of his life is devoted to caring for me, getting stuff done around the house, whether it's going from store to store to do the shopping, maintaining our home (inside & out), the vehicles, the pets... He doesn't receive accolades from the world (nor does he care to). I am comforted knowing that God sees EVERY single kind thought, action and deed that he does. His reward will be great in the Kingdom of God. I'm not writing this to rob him of his reward, but I am writing this so others will realize that although MS and other illnesses have dashed the dreams of many "sick ones", it has done the same or worse to our spouses (caregivers). We need to be lifting them up in prayer, reaching out to get them the help that they need and acknowledging them with our kind thoughts, actions and deeds as well. Sickness is not an excuse to not thank the ones we love for their selflessness. 

I love you Kenny Valentine....thank you for taking care of me in every way imaginable. From washing my face with a wet washcloth while getting sick to my stomach from vertigo, to fixing this picky girl's iPhone. Nothing you do is in vain. I see MOST of it, but God sees it ALL. 

1 Samuel 16:7

New King James Version (NKJV)

7 But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or at his physical stature, because I have refused him. For the Lord does not see as man sees;[a] for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”